The M in Christmas

The M in Christmas

Christmas is undoubtedly the most awaited holiday every year. I have seen people go mad and hysterical by just talking about it. Never for once in my life, I had this feeling to become so attached to a holiday. I mean you can develop a fondness and intimacy for a person but how on earth can you await a holiday. It’s merely a celebration and that one too of GOD, CHRIST!!!!
My family just like other ‘NORMAL’ families on earth takes this celebration to the next level. They’ll invite me and all my siblings and we’ll gather around and we’ll feast on the turkey (cue the animal health and safety organizations) and we’ll exchange gifts. Ooh yes, presents!!!! Remind me to talk about them later in the story. Well as I was saying Christmas is always a waste of time and not celebrating it could save us a fortune but what can I say Old traditions hardly die.

I am 29 years old and I work as a junior sales rep in Sam & MARK Paper Company. We supply paper to the customers and I do a very good job in this regard. I am a reliable employee and my bosses trust me a great deal. I can be persuasive and tempting and that’s why I never lose any argument. I have been doing this job for the last 3 years and I have learned a thing or half about marketing.  I have 3 siblings, 2 brothers, and 1 sister. I hold both my parents in high esteem. Like any other family, we can annoy and we do annoy each other a great deal but when it becomes intense we can lay our lives for one another.
I am Paul and this is my story for the night of miracles……………..

It was the 25th of JULY 2016. A day as hot and hell and Emma had to get married on that day. WOW!!!!
What a revenge party for the guests. I bet everyone sitting there was imagining what they had done so horrible and gruesome in their lives to get punished by being invited to the hottest wedding of their lives but Emma was happy and as her big brother so was I.
It was a beautiful and holy ceremony with tears of joy and scents of lavender. Emma was a vision of beauty and grace in a white satin gown. Mom and Dad and my other brother Oliver were teary-eyed during the whole ceremony Oliver barely managed to get to the evening without laying on the floor sobbing. But a man got to be strong so I sat there being the only sane man in the whole evening. At the end of the ceremony, we greeted our guests and waved goodbyes to the newly married couple.

It was the month of September. Emma was long back from her honeymoon and was gracing us all with her annoying presence alongside her husband Noah. After a meaty dinner and some sibling drama, she gathered us for a toast.

“Everyone, may I have your attention?” Emma called out.
“You already have our attention, sister”. Oliver replied with a hint of tease.
‘Then may I have your focus, little brother”. Emma insisted.
‘You may, my lady.”Oliver bowed.
“Well, I would like to share some happy news with you. NOAH and I are expecting and we wanted to make sure that you guys were the first to know. Emma said in an emotional voice.

Everybody was stunned. Silence covered the room. Suddenly a sob emerged from the right corner and my mother broke into tears. She covered her face with her right hand to muffle the cries but the tears rolled down her cheeks and she cried with tears of happiness and fullness. Oliver was no less and my dad well he was also crying. Sometimes I wonder why all the men in my family are such crybabies and me who had a heart of ice well now all that ice was melting…. I was the 1st to get up and I hugged her. I just hold her. She was glowing and she was happy and I was happy for her. Well everyone was. It’s a blessing. A child! A life!!!

It was the 26th of November. The cold air had filled the atmosphere and the sun was dead at least for the past 4 days it was raining and pouring and I was on the brim of losing my sanity. I hate cold weather they bring a sense of lethargy to me and I just don’t like the overall vibe. Well back to my office. I was calling a client when the receptionist told me I had a guest. My first question was why? But then I changed my answer quickly to who? And I was told it’s a girl. Well, that answered my question. I groaned. I knew who she was, and I knew it was going to be a long evening.

What do you think, Paul?
38 times!!!!! I was asked the same question 38 times. CHRIST!!!!!
How on earth am I supposed to know if the baby was going to like lavender or pink shoes? Will she/he like to wear short frocks or t-shirts? Will she sit on a rose pink comfort or will icy blue suit her taste?
But my GOD my sister was adamant to bring me along with her to shop for these things with her as NOAH was out of the city for a business tour and well he was a lucky man not because he married my sister (isn’t that obvious) but because he was not here to choose between rosy pink or icy blue. LUCKY MAN!!!

“I think you are not paying attention.” Emma raised her brow and there was a suspicious expression in her eyes.
“I am. I definitely am”. I responded and gathered all my senses and focused on the matter at hand.
‘So you also agree that this one is better. She questioned.
“Definitely. Nothing can stop this”, and with this statement, I dug my own grave.

But to my surprise and obvious delight, something across the street caught her eye and she decided to not scold me anymore. She crossed the street with an utter sense of excitement and I stood there laughing as I knew that she finally found the place to choose the toy. I went to the counter and paid the bill. I thanked them and then I left the building. She was standing on the other side of the road holding a pink and icy blue colored rabbit in her hand and she waved at me and brought my attention to the toy I laughed at her and then I told her to wait so that I can go and get her but she left and then…
Then there was a crash and everything and everyone froze.
She was on the road and her hand was on her belly and she closed her eyes……….

It was the 25th of December, Christmas.

The air was filled with sobbed cries. The streets were lit with all types of lightings. The trees were in their respective places. The green color! Full green and yet the town was painted in the shades of grey. I vividly remember the night. That night…
Emma had a miscarriage. We reached the hospital but only one life was saved. She woke up after two days and I was by her side the whole time and I was the 1st one to receive the news. She was asleep. I was there. It was my fault. I was responsible for her loss. I should have gone there. I should have been the one to cross the street. I was supposed to protect her. I was supposed to …..
I opened my eyes. I was in the room. Emma was sitting at the edge of the table. She was eating or at least she was trying. Her eyes which used to shine for the past few months had lost all their light and were filled with sadness. They were filled with water. Water never left her eyes. It was there all the time. A flood in development, ready to drown everyone and everything present in the room. I was struck with a bolt of lightning. How could I eat when she was a mess? How could I? I stood up and left the room at a hurried pace.

I was standing in the garden. My mother planted every flower there with her own hand and we use to water them all the time when we were kids. One day when we were playing Emma noticed a butterfly. Its wings had the slightest touch of silver and the wings glowed in the presence of sunlight. She was ecstatic to see the glow and her eyes glittered with the same shine with which the wings glowed.
I took a deep breath.
“Here you are!” Emma said.
I turned. She was standing at the entrance.
“You didn’t finish dinner earlier.”
‘I am not hungry. I replied I was unable to look her in the eye.
“It’s not your fault.”
I froze.
“It IS NOT YOUR FAULT. None of this is. It is .., ‘her voice broke. But she continued nonetheless. ‘Not your fault”. She said with tears in her voice.
“You are not responsible for this. I know it is tough. But I need you now, to get through this. Will, you did not help me this time? You used to help me all the time. Remember when I found that butterfly in the garden and I tried to keep it in my basket and it died and you waited for a week and you found me another one. You stood by my side and I need you to do the same. I need my big brother.”
She broke into tears and I hugged her. We both stood there crying and I held her.

It’s 25th December 2020

It’s this time of the year again. Streets are covered with laughter and the smell of turkey is all over the place. I have to visit my parents tonight and it’s been four years since that night. Since Emma lost her child. The doctors told us that her chances are very low for childbirth. But Emma and Noah are trying for four years. They are very positive. But every time the result came negative her heartbreaks and so does mine. It’s one thing to feel pain it’s a whole different level when the ones you love go through such heartbreak. Whenever we are outside and she sees a child a void fills her and she becomes the epitome of sadness and it’s a sight that broke my heart to million pieces, every single time. But she is coming tonight and I am going to give her a shawl as a gift. Why? Just because. Sometimes it’s just because.
So I am in the house and Emma is by the door to her room. She went inside and I went with her. She stood there.

“Am I interrupting”? I questioned.
“No, of course not.” She said.
“Come inside. Take a seat.”
She sat on her bed. I sat on the sofa.
She was looking at the bedsheet. Her hand was making circles. Never-ending cycles.
“So anything new?” I said
“No. “
“Do you remember the time when we messed up the kitchen while trying to make sandwiches?”
“I do”. A sad smile crossed her face.
“I am here, Emma. Always.”
“Whenever you need me or even when you don’t need me” I reassured her.
“I know that too”
“I am pregnant!”
She said while sobbing
“I am pregnant, Paul” with tears never leaving her eyes.
You are?
“I am. I haven’t even told Noah. I wanted you to know first. You were there when I lost my 1st child. I wanted to share the news with you 1st.”
“You were there”, she whispered
I sat at her feet. I hold her hands and laid my head on them. I was crying. I was a mess.
“You were there”.
“I’ll always be there,” I said.

25th of December, 2021.
Oh, Christmas!
Why can’t we celebrate with you every day? I love Christmas. It’s my favorite time of the year. The air is filled with laughter and content. The stars are shining and the night is magical. Emma is sitting at the couch she is holding Bella.
Bella, my niece. Bella, the light in our lives. She is four months old. She has emerald green eyes with the perfect touch of grey in them and they glow when sunlight falls on them and the same glow sparkles in the eyes of Emma.
“I came bearing gifts” I hold Bella in my hands and handed the present to Emma/
She looked at me and I signaled her to open it.
She opened the wrapper and she gasped.
It was the rabbit. The rabbit with the color combination of rosy pink and icy blue.
Emma looked at me with tears in her eyes
Thank you” she said. Her eyes filled with tears and her voice with emotions
“You, my sister, are always welcome.”

Do you ever wonder about the “M” at Christmas? Well, I used to. But now I don’t.
It’s for magic and miracles.